Zappa Fans.

I love a healthy debate.  I am a member of a few facebook music appreciation groups.  One a catch all group called International Society of Music Lovers (Insomulo), one dedicated to 50’s/60’s pop culture, one 70’s 80’s pop culture and one or two artist dedicated sites , Dylan, Neil Young, Frank Zappa.  I enjoy them all, some more than others.  Insomulo is the best music appreciation group on facebook, with very knowledgeable members who love music.  Of the dedicated groups I find the Zappa group the most annoying.

Zappa fans are elitist.  They forever pat themselves on the back for having the good sense to like Frank Zappa and all his works.  To most of the members of the Frank Zappa groups music begins and ends with Frank Zappa.  Nothing else comes near.  With over 60 albums to his credit there is always going to be plenty of material to digest and discuss.  I’m a Zappa fan, why would I bother with the group if I wasn’t?   However, I don’t believe Zappa’s every note of music is sacrosanct. 

There is the sacred cow that is ‘Billy The Mountain’ a full album side of unlistenable nonsense.  Members of the Zappa site debate the merits of ‘Billy The Mountain’ ad infinitum.  I’ve tried saying I think it’s a piece of crap but they push it all the more.  I believe that these ‘avid’ Zappa fans want so much to be different that they will accept anything that has Zappa’s name on it.  Zappa made some pretty unlistenable albums in his time but the more obtuse the music the more the die-hards love it.  I just want to scream “your emperor Zappa is wearing no clothes”. as the ‘avids’ hang on to his every fart and belch.

I am a fan, but I know when I’m being sold a dud album.  Keep ‘Billy The Mountain’, ‘Lumpy Gravy’ and ‘Thing Fish’.  I’ll stick to ‘Ruben & The Jets’ and ‘Hot Rats’.  At least I can dance to it.

Today I have an appointment with the doctor.  I seem to be having to consult with my doctor on a regular basis these days.  One of the pitfalls of growing old I guess.  I was given a pocket diary at Christmas and all that I enter into it are doctors  and hospital appointments.  I have two hospital appointments next week, on consecutive days.  What with my free prescriptions and eye treatment I am costing the NHS a packet.  I have three items per month on prescription which cost the government £24.15 per month.  My eye treatment cost £700 per eye and I have had for courses of injections so that's £5400.  I am due to have treatment for cataracts, heaven knows how much that costs?

I can envisage a time when the NHS under the control of the Conservative Government employ snipers to pick off the biggest drains on their resources.  Next week I'll be checking the roof of the hospital for any crouching, black clad figure.

Colin Beardshall  2015.